


la douleur exquise/exquisite pain

by dearjohnlaurens



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: (i live for that shit), Agender Peggy, Angst, Everyone Is Gay, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Gay, M/M, Mutual Pining, Non-binary Laf, actually, alex is bi, bcos those are so cute and :-), fake dating au, hopefully i will finish and keep up with this one, hopefully much fluff and little smut, i love fake dating ok leave me alone with my overused tropes, john is very gay, man i am having a field day with these tags, probably should mention that lololol, slow updates probably, that's more like it, very very gay
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-27
Updated: 2016-03-27
Packaged: 2018-05-29 09:04:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,180
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6368488
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dearjohnlaurens/pseuds/dearjohnlaurens
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>the heartbreaking pain of wanting someone you can't have.</p>
            </blockquote>





	la douleur exquise/exquisite pain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> cavoli riscaldati - (italian) the moment when you attempt to start up a failed relationship or love affair

“It’s fine, it’s fine, it’s _fine_ ,” Alex continually muttered under his breath, as though it were his new mantra. He paced back and forth, in the crowded coffeeshop, bumping into yet another person every time he spun around on his heel.

The irritated glances almost made John pause Alex’s treading, but the look on his friend’s face made him think otherwise. Wondering what had caused Alex to become so agitated, John scanned the small, dense space for the source. When nothing came to sight, John nudged Alex as he made another round, causing him to pause and stare at John.

“What?” he asked, oblivious to the vexed mutterings of the surrounding people.

“You might want to take it down a notch, people are getting annoyed. What’s got you so pissed, anyway?”

“You didn’t see? _Charles_ is here, and he’s not alone,” Alex said in frustration, gesturing toward a couple sitting happily at a small table at the back of the shop. The man was all-too-familiar, with hair about the same color as dirty mop water, and his face (the nose, in particular) bearing a striking resemblance to a ferret, his nose turned up snootily as he glanced around with small, beady eyes. John was tempted to pretend he didn’t remember Charles Lee, but after that one nasty fistfight, there was no way he could pull that off. Usually, John hadn’t really been interested in Alex’s long list of ex lovers, what with kind of being in love with Alex, but Charles was one of the exceptions. Aside from being flat-out nasty, the man broke Alex’s heart over and over again, yet Alex ran back to him every time. In short, Charles Lee was no good.

“I could never figure out what you saw in him,” John commented offhandedly. “He was a straight-up asshole, and you knew it.”

“Yeah, but he was _my_ asshole,” Alex said wistfully, and John had to suppress an eye-roll. How could Alex still possibly miss Charles? The man had been nothing but rude to Alex and all his friends, causing the aforementioned fistfight. Why Alex had been so hung up on Charles was beyond John.

“Alex, he was awful to you, are you telling me you still miss him?”

“Well, yeah, a bit. Look at him, so happy with that bitch. I bet I’m better in bed than her.” The last words were added as somewhat of an afterthought, and John couldn’t help but let out a small laugh at the seriousness Alex had said it with.

“That’s just petty, don’t you think? I’m sure she’s alright. I do feel a bit bad for her though, stuck with someone like him.”

“I’m going to go over there, and when I come back here, it’ll be with a boyfriend,” Alex announced, obviously not having listened to a word John had said.

“I’m not sure that’s a -,” John trailed off as Alex determinedly marched off, leaving John hanging mid-sentence.

For a moment, John stood in line, not wanting to lose his place, but knowing it’d be better for everyone involved if he went after Alex. With a light sigh, he left the long line and hurried after Alex, ready to play the mediator.

“...Reason number six: I am _really_ good at blowjobs, and you know it Charles. Reason number seven: Despite what you thought-”

“Alex!” John hissed, cutting off his friend mid-rant, which normally would make a person fear for their life, but this situation warranted it.

“Um, sorry, but who the hell are you?” Charles’ girlfriend cut in, pissed and confused.

“I am Alexander Hamilton, and I-”

“-Am going to be calmly led away by my amazing friend right now to have a very serious talk.” John finished, taking Alex’s arm and gently pulling him away from the table.

“John, I clearly had the whole thing under control, what the hell are you doing? Now Charles is never going to take me back, and I will most certainly blame _you_ when I die alone and-” Alex started angrily, stealing glances at Charles every now and then.

“Alexander, you need to calm down. You’re trying to ruin a relationship, your ex’s relationship, no less, and you’re making a fool of yourself in front of him, his girlfriend, and about half the people in this damn shop by now. You aren’t doing yourself any good, and you know it’ll only make you feel worse if you continue to pine after Charles, and goddammit, I am never letting you feel like that again.” John had to pause to keep this speech from turning into a declaration of his obviously unrequited love, which would be disastrous. He took a deep breath and continued, “So, in order to keep you from getting hurt again, I think we should stop now and just leave. There are plenty of other coffeeshops to go to, this is New York City, for God’s sake. So, let’s just go?”

Turns out, John didn’t need to worry about accidentally confessing his undying love for Alex, because Alex had marched away mid-speech to continue ranting to Charles.

“Alex! Alexander you-don’t-have-a-middle-name-but-I’d-use-it-if-you-had-one Hamilton!” John rushed over to where Alex was standing over Charles’ table.

“Reason number seventeen: I can learn the names of cars, I promise. I’ll even go with you to the dealership! It could be a cute couple thing we do together, oh everyone would think we’re adorable!” Alex continued to list off what seemed to be reasons why Charles should take him back, while the ex himself and his girlfriend looked more and more annoyed with each passing second.

“Hey, I’d really appreciate it if you could take your friend here and get him out,” Charles’ girlfriend leaned toward John, gesturing to Alex.

“Believe me, I’m trying,” John muttered, dreading the next few minutes to come.

“Hamilton, I’m going to say this once, and once only,” Charles stated, standing up at the table. “I am never taking you back, you hear me? You were a clingy, sniveling, and frankly pathetic excuse for a boyfriend. It’s no wonder why, I mean with a childhood like yours! A whore mother and a father that abandoned you in shame, I’d probably be just as worthless as you are. So, no we’re never getting back together.”

“Like, ever,” His girlfriend chimed in with a smirk.

For a split second, Alex had a crestfallen look on his face, like a kicked puppy, then the hurt was replaced with a much more calm air.

“Good. It’d really be a shame if you weren’t over me, because I am with John now, and we are happier than ever, right babe?”

Utter panic was all John could feel. He was frozen in place, trapped in time, completely speechless. He felt Alex’s hand slide into his all too easily, and it just felt so _right_ , like Heaven and earth had finally aligned, the universe was in place, and everything was perfect. It felt like it was meant to be.

“John? Baby?” Alex brought John back to reality, and John genuinely smiled.

“That’s right, Alex. We’re doing great.”

**Author's Note:**

> um so hi hello everyone just to explain the title of this fic and of the chapters are foreign phrases/words that describe love that are untranslatable to english that i think describe the chapter pretty well :-)


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